Paper Badge

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2011-08-18T15:00:00.001-06:00

Since I have lost most of my material, time, and purpose to blog, here's another beautiful music video.

Does It Feel Like A Trial...

2011-08-11T10:49:00.004-06:00

One month from today I am going to a concert.

I know, big whoop.

This concert is going to be super special, though. It's in California, at the Hollywood Bowl. And it's The National.

Depending on the day, they are my favorite band in the world. Their music is deep, dark, haunting, soothing, sad, pensive, moody, courageous, romantic, and inspiring. They are always whatever you want them to be.

The following music video is from the song "Exile Villify", which was written for a video game. The video was created by a fan (either of the game or the band, I'm not sure) and won a contest. I know Ocarina of Time was good, but I have never been this touched by a piece of video game music.

"I'll Make Up For It Now..."

2011-08-10T10:57:00.005-06:00

So you are singing in your car, or your shower, or while sock sliding in the kitchen....

Your voice is melding perfectly with Elton John's, or Beyonce's, or Evanescence's. Your mind is running wild. The crowd loves you. This is your moment. Time for the high note...

And your voice cracks. Or you mess up the lyrics.

What do you do?

Do you just keep on singing like nobody is listening? (Seems like the logical choice since, in fact, no one is.) Do you restart the song so you can sing it perfectly the next time? Or do you just skip to a completely different song due to your previous failure? Curse? Smack yourself in the face? Sing nonsensical lyrics? Take a sip from your water bottle like you had been planning on that the whole time?

After a late-night drive from Logan to Salt Lake last night, I realize what I do. I apologize.

To nobody.

Finally Carl Lewis and I have something in common.

Why You Can't Force A Blog Post

2011-08-08T15:07:00.004-06:00

A have a good amount of ties that I have collected over the years.

Red ties. Blue ties. Purple ties. Pink ties. Orange ties.

I have solid ties. Striped ties. Novelty ties. I still have a few zipper ties from that very long phase of my life.

But enough of the Dr. Seuss stuff.

I don't own a single green tie.

Now, if you are still reading this, you might be thinking, "OK, why are you telling us this?" It's simple. Green is a good color for me. A redhead in green is like insta-Christmas. Win-win for everyone. I have green shirts, green sweaters, a green jacket, and a green hat. I can pull off green.

But I tell myself, at 26 years old, that I have not purchased a green tie?????

So I go to places. Department stores. Tie stores. Walmart.

I look at the green ties and I am never satisfied. The shade of green isn't right. I don't dig the striping. The comp color is weird. You know, important stuff like that. And so the search continues.

One day, perfect green tie, I will find you.

And there will be much rejoicing.

A Little Story About Russell and Me

2011-07-27T22:20:00.004-06:00

I already told you about my magnificent night spent at the Other Lives/Rosebuds concert a few days ago.

But I didn't tell you the whole story.

Something weird happened.

During the intermission between the two bands, a man walked into the venue who looked like this...

minus the hat.

Meet Russell, an 82-year old ready to rock it out with a bunch of music aficionados, hipsters, and drunk, dancing skanks.

Weird, you say, Badgers? It was. But we are just getting started.

Walking into the room, Russell singled me out, put his arm around me and remarked, "Here's a cool guy right here!"

Right you are, Russ. I am a cool guy.

Then things got uncomfortable.

Russell decided to tell me all the details of his night (art, dancing, and wine tasting) while he continued to have his arm around me and alternated between rubbing my arm and my flank.

For ten minutes.

Yeah, I didn't feel like there was any romantic/sexual intentions on Russell's behalf. He was pretty sauced and really, really old.

I've never been so happy for a band to start, ever.

Another Other

2011-07-22T10:59:00.003-06:00

I need to give a shout-out to Other Lives. Their performance from a week ago is still resonating with me on a pretty deep level. Here is a live performance of my favorite OL song, Paper Cities. Listen. Emote. Ponder. Love. Forgive. Promise. I dunno. Just give it a try! It's good!

Two for Two

2011-07-19T21:05:00.006-06:00

Last week I was able to spend two days doing what I do best, go to concerts.

Thursday was the opening night for the 2011 Twilight Concert Series. I must say, it started off with a thud. The opening band, No Age, was so horrendous they will forever be enshrined in my Hall of Fame of Crappy Live Bands. (Hello, A Place to Bury Strangers) Luckily, the headliner Explosions in the Sky saved the day. Their music was perfectly fitting for dusk on a summer evening. After all my friends bailed, I remained at the show alone until they played Your Hand In Mine. Totally worth it. Not the best TwiCon overall, but it certainly had its moment.

The next day I was lucky to attend The Rosebuds and Other Lives at The Urban Lounge. I have been a big fan of Other Lives ever since I saw them at Lollapalooza two years ago. Their self-titled album is one of my go-to albums whenever I need to chill. Seriously, give it a try. Much to my surprise, they didn't play a single song from that album. Every song they played came from the new one, Tamer Animals. Despite my disappointment, the show was great. Their folksy sound filled the venue and reminded me of my experience listening to them for the first time. The Rosebuds (listen to this) were also a delight despite playing to a crowd well below 100. (Other Lives has some family connections that attended the first act and then left) The band highlights a couple who married and wrote their most recent album as they went through a divorce. The best moment of the night came when the band all gathered near the front of the stage to perform an acoustic version of "Nice Fox" (see below) They had what was left of the crowd huddle around the band and lead us in a sing-along. It was perfect. I wish you could have been there.

Can't Do It Justice

2011-07-19T00:09:00.003-06:00

It's been nine days.

Nine awesome days since I went to the roller derby.

Since the moment I walked out of the event, I have kept thinking how I need to blog about it. I need to tell people about how my already high expectations were kicked in the shins by an even greater reality. I want to tell you all about the hits. The crashes. The drama and anxiety that went along with watching "my team" fall way behind and then make a stunning comeback for a close win. I want to tell you about how grasping the seemingly difficult rules created a satisfying learning experience. (What?) I want to tell you about the movie I went to see after that made me pee my pants multiple times. (Actually, no, I don't want to tell you about that at all.) I want to tell you about the camaraderie of three good friends having a great night on the town. The death metal band playing next door. Fresh fruit slushies from Sonic. The names! I must tell you about the names!

But I can't do it justice.

Roller derby night was too awesome to be put into words.

I Love These Kind Of Mornings

2011-07-14T12:06:00.001-06:00

The Dog Days Are Not Over

2011-07-05T22:15:00.003-06:00

So I have come to a startling revelation.

Whenever someone throws a frisbee in my general direction, I take on the characteristics of a dog.

Seriously.

My eyes get really wide.

I stick my tongue out.

I start panting.

I wag my tail and catch the frisbee in my mouth.

OK, so the last two are not true, but the rest are. I might have a problem.

But I like this kind of problem.

Oh Happy Day

2011-07-01T15:07:00.005-06:00

Need I "say" more?

Dear Amy,

2011-06-27T09:27:00.002-06:00

You are a freak.

I'm not trying to say that to be mean. I want to help. You see, for the longest time I thought that was all you really were. Just another freak. But then I started listening to your music. It's awesome. Someday, I want to go see one of your shows and not see the train wreck the people in Belgrade had to witness. I want to see you use your talent to produce more albums. So, why don't you just trying cleaning things up a bit. One step at a time. You can do it. And when you have given up the heroin, cocaine, meth, pills, horse tranquilizers, and whatever else is streaming through your body, I will be there. Cheering loudly and singing along.

Your optimistic fan,

The Paper Badger

Top Ten Cutest Cartoon Babies Pt. II

2011-06-15T13:57:00.008-06:00

If you missed it, here are numbers 10-6.

Drum roll please....

Time for the Top 5 Cutest Cartoon Babies of All-Time!

5. Tommy Pickles - Rugrats
Tommy Pickles is too cool and too cute for pants. He is the courageous leader of the Rugrats leading them on adventures to defeat dust bunnies and reach Ice Cream Mountain. "A baby's gotta do, what a baby's gotta do!"

4. Baby Sinclair - Dinosaurs!
He may be annoying to some, but Baby Sinclair was (a toned down) Stewie Griffin waaay before Stewie was cool. He also has the most memorable catchphrase of the group. (Double sidebar: First, watch any clip of Baby Sinclair and his mom and you are totally listening to Elmo talking to Lucille from Arrested Development. Second, remember Earl Sinclair's boss? Has to be one of the scariest villains of my youth.)

3. Baby Po - Kung Fu Panda 2
The inspiration for making this list makes a very impressive showing at #3. I'm sure most of you haven't seen the movie so I will do my best to explain. Our beloved Kung Fu Panda was abandoned by his parents and deliver to his adoptive duck father in a box of radishes. The duck finds a cute, chubby, hungry panda with eyes that will make your heart melt. Honestly, I wanted to put him at number one, but the next two deserve some major respect.

2. Simba - The Lion King
I will admit that we don't see Simba do much as a baby besides be held, paw, and sneeze. But let me say this, there is no denying the cuteness here. It also helps that he is the headliner of one of the most iconic scenes in Disney history along with the most BA Disney character ever.

1. The Muppet Babies - The Muppets Take Manhattan
I'm kicking myself for putting a collective at number one, but how do you split up the Muppet Babies? To be clear, these babies are from the scene in Muppets Take Manhattan not the cartoon that was inspired by it. (Also quite cute) Even if I had to pick just one (I would probably have to pick Gonzo although Rowlf, Kermit, and Fozzie are not far behind) they would still top this list. They are exponentially cuter than Disney Babies or Baby Looney Tunes. They can sing. And they are the Muppets. You just can't beat the Muppets. At least until baby E.T. is introduced.

Honorable Mentions: Baby Bop, Jack-Jack from the Incredibles, the baby animals from Partly Cloudy, Baby Tarzan, Baby Huey, Baby Herman, Pinky from Ice Age, Baby Hercules and Baby Pegasus

So that is my list! Thanks for indulging me. So, how did I do? Agree? Disagree? Did I miss someone obvious? Let me know!

A Little Something...

2011-06-15T12:44:00.000-06:00

...while you (meaning Ben, my last remaining reader) wait for the top 5.

This is my favorite song of the day. And probably tomorrow. It's that good.

Top Ten Cutest Cartoon Babies

2011-06-14T10:24:00.002-06:00

This is what this blog has come to.

I can't really explain why I did this. I watched Kung Fu Panda 2. I got this idea and I had to run with it. Here are the rules:

1) Babies must be fictional characters in a cartoon, computer animation, puppet, or anthropomorphic form.

2) No toddlers! Has to portray some baby characteristics.

3) No Baby Jesus. Too easy. He gets his own category.

That's it. Here are the Cutests Cartoon Babies 10-6....

10. Pebbles Flintstone, The Flintstones - She started out much higher, but slowly moved her way down the list. She's cute, sure, but there isn't much great about her besides being the namesake for a truly awesome breakfast cereal.

9. Dumbo, Dumbo - Our most vintage participant. Dumbo gets massive points for his massive ears. Poor Dumbo got made fun of by his elephant friends. He finally gets some love on this list.

8. Tokka and Rahzar, TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze - You probably just looked at the above picture and said, "Gross, those two monsters are not cute and they are not even babies!" Wrong and wrong you are. Back story, Shredder decides to fight the Ninja Turtles by feeding a wolf and snapping turtle the same ooze that turned the ninja turtles mutant. The following hilarity ensues. So totally cute.

7. Kiddy Kong, Donkey Kong Country 3 - I may have broken Rule #3 here. Kiddy seems like a baby. He has a binky. He cries a lot. But he is huge and had a pretty big adventure. But the baby in Baby's Day Out had a day out, so I'm including Kiddy. For now.

6. Maggie Simpson, The Simpsons - Maggie doesn't do much. She enjoys her binky and occasionally shoots a billionaire. I can say with perfect certainty, that this is the one baby on the list that I want to dress my future child in costume. Light blue onesy and bow. Red binky. That is so happening.

Come back tomorrow for the Top 5!

Guns n' Roses n' Cellos

2011-06-13T22:55:00.000-06:00

Vindication

2011-06-13T10:39:00.003-06:00

Today is a beautiful day and this picture says it all. I have never been a fan of the Dallas Mavericks. Especially after this...

I have always thought that Dirk Nowitzki was a chump, Mark Cuban was a loudmouth, and Dallas fans were fair-weather, clueless and indifferent. But when the Mavs faced Miami in the NBA Finals, I did not jump on the Heat bandwagon. I didn't even make a list like I had to for the Super Bowl. I cheered for the Mavericks like there was no tomorrow.

I hate the Miami Heat and I hate LeBron James. I hate everything their franchise stands for. I couldn't bear the thought of them highjacking the NBA championship one year after The Decision and the Premature Celebration. They are arrogant. Their fans are worse than the fans in Dallas. They had to be stopped.

Lucky for me, they were stopped. It was a great series and both teams played hard. ( copyright - Rasheed Wallace) The Mavericks didn't only win for themselves, Mark Cuban, and they city and fans of Dallas. (Who, by the way, stepped it up big time) They won it for the Rebellion. They won it for Cleveland. They won it for the hope that a team without three All-Stars can go all the way.

Come on, Jazz, we can do this!

What the 80s???

2011-06-09T22:06:00.002-06:00

The song Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money does not appear in the movie Take Me Home Tonight. Yeah, I know. I figured I would just cut right to the chase on this one. When Take Me Home Tonight, the movie, came out a few months ago I was curious. A movie starring Topher Grace and Dan Fogler did little to excite me. But the title of the movie got the gears in my mind turning. The Eddie Money song is one of my favorite 80s songs and I quickly imagined an inspiring montage set to the song at the climax of the movie. Or maybe the song would back the opening credits. Or possibly it would pop up three of four times. No matter what that song could sell even the worst of movies. That song is clutch.

Fast forward to this afternoon. After missed attempts to catch the movie in the theaters, I finally got around to seeing it. The song didn't start the movie. The song never played from the car during a driving scene. The song didn't accompany a romantic kiss. No song during a montage. It didn't even pop up during the closing credits. IT WASN'T IN THE MOVIE AT ALL!!!! Are you kidding me???? That is like E.T. without E.T. Muppets Christmas Carol without the Muppets. To be completely honest, the movie sucked. (Not a surprise) Not funny. Not clever. Not cool. If anyone knows of a movie with that song in it, let me know. Until then I will fill that void with this YouTube clip.

A Pleasant Surprise

2011-05-05T10:30:00.003-06:00

Do not adjust your computer screen, these are real words appearing on my blog. You won't believe this but I'm actually going to write more than one sentence too. So it is no secret that my move to Salt Lake has been somewhat of an inconvenient disaster. I've been through two jobs and am moving on to a third shortly. My car has been through one minor accident and a smashed sunroof. The weather has been awful. I'm not trying to complain just to illustrate that greener pastures sometimes take a while to grow. I still have high hopes that I will be able to find my niche in this city and make this move worth the struggle. Luckily, one of my Salt Lake goals (being closer to sweet concerts) has not disappointed one bit. The Lady Gaga show was completely worth the ten month wait. Pinback was a lot fun despite the dumb, dumb, dumb crowd of idiots. Menomena was fab and Arcade Fire blew the roof off of my mind-house. But, I have rarely been so impressed with a band as I was last night with The Head and the Heart. I had listened to a few songs from their self-titled debut album and figured they would be a good excuse to get myself out of the house. So I grabbed my friend Chris and away we went. Kilby Court was packed with several devotees and curious onlookers like myself. The band played with a contagious energy that lasted throughout the show. Since band is still somewhat new, you could see their love for their music and performing it had not dimmed in the least. I've got to give them credit. Best $12 I've spent in a while.

Hello John Stamos

2011-04-19T14:40:00.001-06:00

This video is kinda odd and has quite the sad ending, but this song has me in a trance.

Most of the time, life feels like this....

2011-04-08T17:54:00.000-06:00

...but that makes it so much better when it is like this

2011-04-08T17:53:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the creepy pic but this song is amazing

2011-04-05T11:49:00.000-06:00

So Glad You're Back

2011-03-23T23:07:00.001-06:00

Thank The Man

2011-02-21T17:25:00.003-07:00

This story is a bit silly, and pretty dated. When Utah Jazz coach Jerry Sloan and his assistant Phil Johnson resigned on February 10, I was more than a little shocked. Being die-hard Jazz fan my entire life, Jerry and Phil have always been a part of the equation. Despite my sadness and all the rumors surrounding the event, I'm glad to see these guys get their much-deserved vacation. Which brings me to my story. A few days after they resigned, I was working out at the gym. (Still going strong, baby!) After a grueling set of lifting massive amounts of weight, I took a break to refill my Thomas the Tank Engine water bottle. While walking to the fountain, I noticed a familiar face standing by the front desk. It was undoubtedly this man, Phil Johnson:

Tall, mustached, and wearing a Utah Jazz T-shirt. It was him. I had to act quick. Should I talk to him? What would I say? He was asking the attendant questions about the facility and soon they started walking toward me as they looked around. I stuck my hand out and shook his and said the only thing that came to mind,

"Thanks for everything."

Best News

2011-02-20T19:34:00.002-07:00

They are coming.

To Orem.

April 11.

Holy flip.

What Should I Do? 3: No One's Reading This But I Gotta Finish....For Me

2011-02-06T11:16:00.008-07:00

The Steelers are up 5-4 and the Super Bowl is tonight! Time for the last three rounds!

8. Towel or Hat?

Fans of both teams use an annoying yellow device to cheer for their teams. The Steelers have the Terrible Towel:

While Packers fans don the cheesehead:

Honestly, they are both kinda lame, but I am going to give the Pack a point here. Waving a towel is only a sometimes thing, wearing a cheese hat is a full-time job and I respect that.

Advantage: Green Bay

9. The First Paragraph on Wikipedia Battle:

Green Bay is a city in and the county seat of Brown County in the U.S. state of Wisconsin,^[3] located at the head of Green Bay, a sub-basin of Lake Michigan, at the mouth of the Fox River. It has an elevation of 581 feet (177 m) above sea level and is located 112 miles (180 km) north of Milwaukee. As of the 2000 United States Census, Green Bay had a population of 102,313.^[1] Its 2008 estimated census was 101,025.^[4] The Town of Green Bay is located several miles northeast of the city. It is the third-largest city in the state of Wisconsin, after Milwaukee and Madison. It is also the third-largest city on the west shore of Lake Michigan, after Chicago and Milwaukee.

Pittsburgh (pronounced /ˈpɪtsbərɡ/) is the second-largest city in the U.S. Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and the county seat of Allegheny County. Regionally, it anchors the largest urban area ofAppalachia^[8] and the Ohio River Valley, and nationally, it is the 22nd-largest urban area in the United States.^[9]^[10] The estimated population of the city in 2009 was 311,647,^[11] while the seven-county metropolitan area was estimated at 2,354,957.^[7] Downtown Pittsburgh retains substantial economic influence, ranking at 25th in the nation for jobs within the urban core and 6th in job density.^[12] The characteristic shape of Pittsburgh's central business district is a triangular tract carved by the confluence of the Allegheny and Monongahela rivers, which form the Ohio River. The city features 151 high-rise buildings,^[13] 446 bridges,^[14] two inclined railways, and a pre-revolutionary fortification. Pittsburgh is known colloquially as "The City of Bridges" and "The Steel City" for its many bridges and former steel manufacturing base.

Which city would I rather party in? Neither. Which paragraph made me giggle featuring the phrase "triangular tract?"

Advantage: Pittsburgh

10. Utah Ties

My love of University of Utah football streams into pro sports. I try to cheer on any players drafted into the NFL. Sometimes this works out great (Alex Smith) and sometimes this works out really not so great at all (Alex Smith). Luckily, there are two Utah alums to cheer for in this game, Chris Kemoeatu and Stevenson Sylvester. Both play unseen roles for the same team. Chris is a staring guard on the offensive line. Productive but not flashy. Stevenson is a rookie playing special teams. He is also one of my favorite all-time players for the U. He also does not have a Super Bowl like Chris and his teammates. They both play for the Steelers.

Advantage: Pittsburgh

So, in about six hours I will put on my Patrick Willis jersey, eat some nachos and "cheer" on the Pittsburgh Steelers. I will be just fine if the Packers win, for Charles Woodson's sake. I look forward to a great game, good food, and commercials that I will easily see a million more times in the next month. Happy Super Bowl everyone!

Steelers win 7-5 and will win Super Bowl 35-27

What Should I Do?: Round 2 - Electric Boogaloo

2011-02-02T10:47:00.007-07:00

Picking up where I left off yesterday, Pittsburgh took a 4-1 lead for the rights to my Super Bowl fan rights for Sunday's game. Let's see if Green Bay can make it interesting....

4. Heroes & Villains

Most athletes are easy to cheer for, easy to cheer against. But a few individuals transcend this and reach a you-gotta-love-this-guy or you-can't-help-but-hate-that-clown status. I haven't been informed of any heroic tales of cancer survival, orphan raising, or anything like that from either team. With no heroes, let's focus on the bad guys. The Steelers, for the most part, are a team of villains. Hines Ward is considered the "dirtiest player in the NFL. (Whatever that means) James Harrison has been fined tens of thousands of dollars for "cheap" and illegal hits this season alone. I can look past this easily, this is football after all. The only real "bad guy" on the team is quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. "Big Ben" has twice been charged with sexual assault and has maintained a "higher than the law" swagger for most of his playing time. I won't judge him personally, but all this makes it much easier to cheer against him.

Advantage: Green Bay

5. The Ray Bourque Inclusion

Whenever a fan is in doubt on which team to cheer for, it is common to find a player who seems "deserving" of a championship. The heading of this section points to Raymond Bourque, who played 21 seasons for the Boston Bruins without ever winning a Stanley Cup. Bourque was a stellar player, but also a fan favorite and "good guy", as far as hockey players can be good. At the end of his career he was traded to the Colorado Avalanche, where he finally won that elusive trophy. I don't follow hockey closely, but I can still remember seeing him skate around the rink holding the trophy. Are there any Raymond Bourques in

this game? Not quite. Charles Woodson is as close as we can get. Woodson has been a top notch NFL cornerback since 1998. He has transformed from a flashy Heisman winner to an unassuming playmaker. He won the Defensive Player of the Year last season. Also, on the Packers is Donald Driver, a veteran receiver who is tough, productive, and quiet. Both are good guys and both are deserving of a Super Bowl trophy. I'll combine them for one Bourque point. (.75 for Woodson and .25 for Driver)

Advantage: Green Bay

6. Mascot

The Steelers mascot:

The Packers mascot:

Yeah, they don't have one.

Advantage: Pittsburgh, for the kids.

7.Proof of an Underdog

Since both teams have had their share of success in their histories, let's keep this controlled to this season. The Steelers completed a 12-4 record and were the #2 seed in the AFC entering the playoffs. Despite losing Big Ben for the first four games of the season, they have remained near the top of the standings for most of the season. The Packers had a 10-6 record and were the #6 seed in the NFC. They had to win their last win games to qualify after a stretch of losing three out of four games. They have overcome a slew of injuries to key players (Barnett, Finley, Grant, Poppinga, Tauscher). Despite all this, the Packers are a three point favorite by Vegas odds. I still the have to go with the Packers on this one. Steelers are no underdog, sorry.

Advantage: Green Bay

Halftime! Steelers now lead 5-4. The third (and probably final) installment comes tomorrow!

Honest Mistake

2011-02-02T10:41:00.002-07:00

I've always thought OK Go was just another dumb gimmick band who puts more thought into their music videos than their music. And, I'm probably right. I heard the following song on the radio a few nights ago and I honestly thought it was a Prince song I had never heard of. Once I realized my mistake, my first thought was "Whoops." My second thought was "if i can mistake and OK Go song for a Prince song and Prince is a music god, then OK Go must me capable of making a good song." So, that is that. I haven't even watched the video since it has dogs in it, but the song is a toe-tapper indeed.

What Should I Do?: Part One

2011-02-01T17:15:00.008-07:00

With the Super Bowl less than one week away, I find myself faced with an important yet difficult dilemma.

Who do I cheer for?

As a die-hard fan of the San Francisco 49ers, I don't have a dog in this fight. As a matter of fact, the last time my team played for the Lombardi trophy I was nine years old (Not that I can complain that much, they have won in five times in their history). Each year when the Super Bowl comes around, I don't have much difficulty selecting which team I will root for. I tend to side with the underdogs or sentimental favorites ('08 Giants, '10 Saints). I also will quickly root against the teams I hate or "dynasty" teams (Cowboys, Packers, Steelers, Patriots). That is what makes this Super Bowl so tough. I really don't want to see either team win. So, it order to sort out my predicament into the First Ever Paper Badge Tale of the Tape: Super Bowl XLV Edition.

1. The Lemon Law

In order to proceed to the rest of our head-to-head comparison, both teams must pass the Lemon Law (© Barney Stinson). This means I have to be able to look at both teams and not find one thing so overbearingly repugnant that no other factor will even matter. The Lemon Law test requires asking three questions. First, Did anyone involved with either team do anything to physically or emotionally hurt your family, friends, or Rihanna? Second, does Brett Favre or Max Hall play major minutes for either team? Third, if given the choice to watch Best in Show or The Guardian, would anyone on the team pick that horrendous Costner/Kutcher disaster? Okay, so that last one may have been more for dating, but as far as I am aware both team pass the first two questions.

Advantage: Push. One point for both team

2. The Facial Hair Factor

There has been much fanfare this week surrounding the locks of Troy Polamalu and Clay Matthews. I'll give these guys credit for some great hair, but if you want to win my Super Bowl vote, it's all about the beard. And the winner of the Super Bowl beard competition is not even close...

Meet Brett Keisel, Steelers defensive end and alumnus of BYU. For those non-sports fans out there, if you were shown this picture and were given x-amount of choices to guess the university he attended for a million dollars, how many guesses would it take to finally say BYU? I'm not entirely sure what the Packers have to offer in the beard department, but it can't touch this.

Advantage: Pittsburgh. Double points for a double beard.

3. Hate/Revenge Level

My hate for the Packers runs deep. My buddy Marcus has always despised the Pack and passed that on to me. During the 90s/early 00s, the Niners and Packers had a series of great rivalry games, most of them did not go our way. But, this team is different. There is no Brett Favre. No Mike Holmgren. The Pack whooped us this year, and I have beat us eight straight times. The last time we beat them was on a miracle pass from Steve Young to Terrll Owens. All that said, I don't mind seeing them lose.

I've never really hated the Steelers. The Niners rarely play them and we beat them in '03 followed by a loss in '07. The one thing that the Steelers have going against them is the amount of Super Bowls the have won. They currently have six, while the Niners (and Cowboys) have five. A 7-5 advantage is tough to overcome. We were first to five and it would be nice to get that title back.

Advantage: Pittsburgh. I was originally going to give this section to Green Bay, but as I typed their section my blood started to boil with the memory of all those defeats. One point to the Steelers.

Through three quarters, the Steelers have a 4-1 lead. Tune in tomorrow for Round 2.

Tweet Incredible

2011-01-28T21:33:00.004-07:00

So with my recent graduation, it became time for me to take the necessary steps in becoming an independent.

First on that list was getting kicked off the family plan.

I'd been rocking this phone for the past three years:

This phone and I had some great times together. Lots of text c

onversation. Lots of crappy quality pics. I'll miss it. But if I'm going to pay for my own plan, this phone was not coming with me. So I upgraded.

To this:

It's a whole new ballgame, kids. Once you go smartphone, you'll never go dumbphone again. Internet, apps, sports, angry birds, and Twitter. Glorious Twitter. I never knew how badly I needed to know random facts about the daily lives of celebrities. But, oh did I ever need it. I laugh. I cringe. But I love love love Twitter. I'm still a novice tweeter, but once I get the hang of hashtags and the like there may be no stopping me. (There may be no (one) following either, but that's fine.)

So I think the main point of this post was to brag. So, yeah, thanks for listening.

Make Sure You're Sitting Down For This One

2011-01-19T14:50:00.003-07:00

I, (The) Paper Badge(r), joined a gym. Yeah. It happened. For those of you who know me, the real me, this is an unusual first for me. Prior to now, I had lifted weights a grand total of one time in my life. I hated running unless it was after a frisbee or a soccer ball. (I was not a dog) But now I am running. I am lifting. And I am sweating. And hurting. Not sure what I am doing to myself.

Never Text and Mall Walk

2011-01-16T19:57:00.001-07:00

Weekend

2011-01-15T12:14:00.002-07:00

It's the weekend. So here's a song called "Weekend."

Leaving Logan

2011-01-09T19:09:00.004-07:00

Almost seven years ago, I left Logan for the first time. It was my first time living away from home and what began as a very difficult experience grew into a life-changing memory. I made many friends. I went out shopping and did laundry on my own for the first time. I fell in love with ultimate frisbee. I had my first real part time job. I grew to love the quiet college town with its beautiful scenery and friendly residents. It had become my home. But I had to leave to accomplish serving a mission. When I drove down Main Street leaving the town behind, I cried. I was only going to be gone for two years, but I cried.

Two weeks ago, I left Logan for the second time. A winter storm was approaching so we had to move quick. My dad and I threw all my belongings into boxes and garbage bags and piled them into our family's Suburban. Everyone was still gone for Christmas break, so there were no goodbyes and definitely no crying. The whole process was like ripping off a Band-Aid. Only it was a Band-Aid that had been attached to my heart and soul for nearly a decade.

Last Thursday, I went back to Logan to say goodbye. I visited USU campus and the Best Western. I drove down Main Street again and up the roads where I'd like to walk and think. I said goodbye to my friends. I slept in my old apartment. (with permission, of course.) Most importantly, I was able to close that chapter of my life. I love everything about Logan and Cache Valley, but it had run its course. I'm excited for Salt Lake City and whatever new challenges and experience await. And I'll look forward to returning to Logan again. As a visitor.

The Return

2011-01-04T16:12:00.005-07:00

New Year's Resolution #1: Write/blog more often

What? Did you think I had died? I thought I forgot about you? You thought I didn't love you anymore? On the contrary, my friends. The past *cough* four months *cough* have been busy and weird. I packed up and left Logan. I dyed my hair black. I brought back the Annie dress for a triumphant Halloween reprise. I went to South Bend. Christmas happened and so did Thanksgiving. The Utes were great, then sucked, were good again, and then really sucked. The Niners were a disaster. The Jazz are fun and confusing. I brought the beard back. I graduated college. I am unemployed.

For some reason I never blogged about any of this.

I can't spend much time apologizing for that. I can't even count how many times I have began a blog post or journal entry with "I'm sorry it's been such a long time..." and I can't even promise that this is the last hiatus for Paper Badge. But, I'm posting today and that is all that matters right now.

Final Twilight

2010-09-07T23:41:00.000-06:00

You can't spell summer without TwiCon!

For the past two months my senses have been overloaded as I attended all but one of the Twilight Concert Series shows. (I missed Big Boi and Chromeo for a family vacation) I was smothered by the crowds at Modest Mouse. (Worst crowds of any show I have ever been to) I moshed with the herds at Girl Talk. (Also receiving my first real second-hand marijuana high) I was wowed by Beirut and uber-wowed by the New Pornogrpahers. Sharon Jones melted my face. I discovered some great new bands. (Memory Tapes, The Dodos, and Jamie Lidell) TwiCon has become my favorite part of summer and 2010 surpassed 2009. I can't wait until next year! Here are some pics from the final show: She & Him.

The Dum Dum Girls, who opened the show. Their look freaked me out but they actually impressed me. I'm easily impressed, but still, a good show in my book.

Here is our little group. The odds were in mine and Ben's favor. And not in favor.

Kasie and Nicole with Nicole's friends. I don't remember your names, but if you ever stumble across this blog and read this post, you are great. The End.

Kasie, Ben, Nicole, and random dude get their mischievous face on.

Gwen did not want her picture taken and decided the best defense was, of course, karate.

But she lightened up once I got in the shot.

She & Him came out and played their music, which is all light, fluffy, similar songs. Simultaneously boring and good.

Most everyone was there to get a good look at Zooey Deschanel, movie star of Elf, 500 Days of Summer, and Yes Man fame. She did not disappoint in the music department. Or in the looks department.

Although I was happy to see Zooey (the She), I was even more happy to see M.Ward (the Him). He takes a backseat during most of their songs, but on a few occasions he took center stage and shredded. My overall feeling about the concert was a desire for a lot for Him and a little less She.

What I'm Listening To...

2010-08-28T12:56:00.002-06:00

Ra Ra Riot's new album The Orchard came out this past Tuesday. Aside from employing my #1 musician crush, they put on some really fun music. This is "Boy" the first single from the album (featuring cats!)

St. George

2010-08-27T12:07:00.005-06:00

Last weekend, Shalane and I took a roadtrip down to St. George. We spent most of our time at Nika's volleyball tournament (they went 0-8 but stayed optimistic until the bitter end) but also took our first trip to Zion National Park and watch Tarzan performed @ Tuacahn. Here are a few pics from our trip!

Me in front of the Checkerboard Mesa.

I've eaten at Jimmy John's a time or two, but I think they really deserve a Paper Badge shout out. Fastest sandwich (and maybe food) ever. Delicious bread. Jimmy John's, you got it going on!

Even though the team lost a lot, my sister played great. Sadly, during the one game they almost (and should have) won, she was sent to the JV game to work the line. Bleh.

We met up with my friend Kelsha, who is preparing to leave on her mission in a few weeks.

Shalane was happy with her seating arrangement.

We Titmusses are great at taking pictures.

Trapped

2010-08-11T17:33:00.003-06:00

So last week I was perusing the blog of my favorite Salt Lake-based music writer, Mr. David Burger, when I came across a contest. The contest was for two free tickets to The Temper Trap concert going on tonight. To enter, you needed to write in five words or less why you wanted the tickets. I wrote, "Amazing band. I am poor." And wouldn't you know it, I won the tickets. (In possibly related news, I may have been the only person to enter.) So tonight I'll be rocking out to the Trap. Since you won't be there, enjoy one of their songs on me:

Current Song Stuck in My Head

2010-08-03T00:43:00.001-06:00

Life Changing New Porn.

2010-07-30T11:47:00.005-06:00

...ographers. Haha. Sorry I had to go there. Just for the record, this post is in no way about about porn. It's all about these guys:

The New Pornographers (there name is a reference to when rock and roll music was dubbed "the new pornography" by some crusty square) I was just trying to be funny and use whatever means I could think of to get someone to actually read this. Anyway, moving on...

My friends and I made the trek back to Salt Lake for week 4 of the Twilight Concert Series. We've made it somewhat of a tradition to stop at Wendy's before the show. Emily and Kasie were super excited about their kid's meal toys.

We had a few minutes to kill, so I gave Spencer his own personal concert of our favorite Chuck Berry song.

Here is a pic of the stage at Pioneer Park.

The opening band, The Dodos. They were quite impressive.

My sister Shalane and my cousin Cristy joined us at the show this week. Yay! (You can tell who got the attractive genes in our family. Not me.) They elected to stay in their blanket spot while me and my friends went up closer for the main event. They thought it would give them a better chance of getting hit on.

The girls and I pose in our sweet spot. Spencer was supposed to be in this picture...

...and he was a little sad about not making it in the shot.

More gratuitous shots of ourselves...

I'm trying to show off my New Pornographers shirt here but didn't get the right angle going. Spencer is obviously the more accomplished shirt model.

And here is the band we have all been waiting for...

Notice the guy with the dark, bushy hair with his back facing the audience? That's Dan Bejar, one of the (four) lead singers in New Pornographers. He finally came on stage during the band's second song and went back stage during half the songs only to return with a full cup of beer. If he was onstage and not singing, he spent the entire time doing exactly what he is above, not looking at us.

Neko Case and Carl Newman, two more of the band's singers.

I'm pretty much in love with Neko Case. (mostly for her voice) I told her I loved her about a million times during the show. (Mostly in my head)

I had to take a picture of the guy playing the cello in background because he made a lot of weird faces while he was playing. Unfortunately, I took a picture of him during the one moment he wasn't making a weird face.

Here is Kathyrn Calder, the fourth singer in the band. What a revelation she was.

She even played the accordion!

Now that you've made it to the end of the post, you are probably wondering, was it any good. I say unto you, YES! I've been waiting to see these guys live for years and they lived up to the hype, surpassed the hype, and ran back to the hype and punched it in the face like Ronnie did in season one of Jersey Shore. They played 24 songs, each one full of energy. The talents of each member of this super-group gelled together perfectly giving the audience a euphoric trip into musical ecstasy. This will easily rank among the top 10 concerts I have ever attended. Good porn indeed. :)

The Day Has Finally Arrived

2010-07-29T10:06:00.002-06:00

The New Pornographers have been one of my favorite bands for years and it has long been my dream to see them perform live. Tonight that dream becomes a reality

Congratulations...

2010-07-26T15:53:00.005-06:00

...on being the best potato chips I have ever had.

Heck Yes I Went To The Justin Bieber Concert!

2010-07-21T00:54:00.006-06:00

Many of you know me as a die-hard concert attendee. I've seen everyone from Aerosmith to Passion Pit. Last week alone I saw Ben Folds, Girl Talk, Memory Tapes, and the great Sir Paul McCartney. But none of these concerts has provided such a wide variety of insults and jealousy via my friends then when I attended the Justin Bieber concert last Saturday. I must admit, I went partly because I wanted a fun night with my friends, partly because I wanted to experience what it is like to watch a concert with thousand of screaming teenage girls (really, I did), and partly because I like the kid's music. So here you go. Bieber Fever in pictures!

Bieber Venue (The "new" Maverik Center)

My Bieber companions (Lyndsay, Maddie, and Maddie's bro Stockton)

pre-Bieber meal (Club Costa)

Bieber Swag

Bieber fans (and a Bieber thumbs up!)

a few more Bieber fans (possibly more Bieber thumbs up too)

Bieber Countdown Clock

Bieber Entrance (Loudest. Scream. Ever. I'm. Not. Kidding. Really. It. Hurt.)

Bieber Dance Move

Bieber Close-Up

Bieber Striptease (Just the jacket, folks.)

Bieber acoustic set on a heart-shaped contraption hanging over the audience while wearing something that, from our vantage point, looked exactly like long underwear

Bieber Serenade

Bieber fake climb a fake building

Bieber Backup Dancers

Bieber Matchy Matchy

Bieber Lazers!!!

Bieberfetti!

Bieber Hearing Loss

Paper Badge Approved

A: Nebraska!

2010-07-04T13:21:00.000-06:00

The answer to last week's mystery question has finally been revealed. (Sorry for my lateness. The bad part about going on awesome trips is having to work every single day once I come home.) I know what you are thinking. You went on a vacation to Nebraska? You know what I have to say to that? You're dang right I went on a vacation to Nebraska! It was epic!

This is me with Shealynn and Sarah as we prepared to take off on our adventure. Sarah is from Nebraska and invited Shealynn and I to visit her home state. The passenger seat in Sarah's car is very, very conducive to napping. I usually don't sleep in cars, but I found a way to fall asleep in that seat many times.

The Shimmy Tunnel.

This is the 2nd most exciting thing about driving through Wyoming on I-15.

Also, there are only two exciting things on I-15 in Wyoming.

The Kool-Aid elf who guided us on our tour of the Kool-Aid Museum. (Yeah, Nebraska is sounding cooler already isn't it?) This was also the last picture I was able to take before my camera kicked the bucket for the rest of the trip. Sadly, this means no pictures of my two Runza visits or my magical experience with fireflies. Quite the shame.

The Sky-Fari @ the Omaha Zoo. Your move, Hogle.

The Sky-Fari allows you to ride "on top" of giraffes. ;)

My life is going to have a hard time getting cooler than this.

Besides the Sky-Fari, the Omaha Zoo has a Desert Dome, Aquarium, and the Rainforest-thing that you see above.

After the zoo, we made our way to watch the College World Series. This was a pretty special year to go, as it was the very last year it was played in historic Rosenblatt Stadium. Now you are kicking yourself for not planning your Nebraska trip sooner, aren't you? Too late, buddy. Too too late.

The first game we watched was TCU vs. UCLA. It was probably in the nineties, temperature wise, but it felt like it was much hotter. I drank at least seven bottles of water, applied a few pounds of sunscreen, and Sarah's sister almost died. Besides that, it was a lot of fun.

We came back later in the evening to watch South Carolina play Clemson. The weather was so much better, and without the sun, you could actually watch the game.

Me, Sarah's sis Sam (alive!), Sarah, and Shealynn after the game. We are a little bruised and battered from our long day in the sun, but we are still a happy bunch. And why are we so happy? Because we are in Nebraska. And Nebraska is awesome. Deal with it.

Guess Where I am Going Today?

2010-06-23T13:11:00.001-06:00

RAG doll

2010-06-23T12:16:00.000-06:00

Over the weekend, I volunteered for the Ragnar Wasatch Back Relay, where teams of 12 run from Logan to Park City over a 24 hour period. You just read the previous sentence again didn't you? That was the first time I have ever put myself into a sentence with the word running without putting don't, hate, sucks, boring, or awful with it. The only time I run is when a frisbee or a potential ghost encounter is involved. So when my roomate Jake invited me to help out at the Wasatch Back, I had some reservations. I'm not a running person and I didn't know if I would fit in with running people. (Note to running people: You are great, but you seem like a slightly modified species of human) I wasn't sure if I could speak the lingo or dress the style. But, because I am a good friend and I didn't actually have to do any running, I went. And, I had a really good time. I spent six hours at the registration tables, handing out T-shirts, magazines, mugs, papers and talking to the thousands of runners participating in the race. Now, don't tell anyone, but I had so much fun that I might consider running something someday. Nothing big. Maybe like a 1K. I need to get a taste about what you running people are all about.

TwiCon Preview Pt.2

2010-06-16T09:21:00.001-06:00

Another great band playing in Utah for free...

Bear Lake Pizza Trip

2010-06-13T14:23:00.005-06:00

This blog is mostly about food.

It's supposed to be about me and, don't get me wrong, it's a lot about me. I suppose it's a lot about music and my friends. But every decent post I have ever written as revolved around food. (Think: McNuggets challenge) I blame myself a little bit, but I mostly blame Mark Francom. Mark is my roommate and he really loves food. Not in the way that he eats all the time and is morbidly obese. More in the way that one of his favorite pastimes is opening up the phone book to discuss, analyze, and critique the various eating establishments in Cache Valley. This has led to my roommates and I traveling to several different locations to experience the various flavors. On Saturday, we fulfilled our long-awaited date with destiny by eating the gigantic Old Ephraim pizza in Bear Lake.

Instead of just me and my roommates, our group grew to seventeen people divided among four vehicles. Here is a pic of everyone in my car (Emily, Stice, Maddie, Gwen, and me) which was the Party Wagon for sure. These poor people. We were bumping to a lot of great music the entire trip that I almost killed us about four times driving through Logan Canyon. I also ran a stop sign because I was in the middle of a story. I'm you all made it, friends.

Once we arrived in Bear Lake, Maddie and I posed with the Bear. This is good training before eating the Old Ephraim. Act like a Bear. Be the Bear. Eat like a Bear.

The Restaurant. They have raspberries dipped in choc!

Here is the size of the pizza. Twenty-eight inches.

I was immediately accepted into the Bear Lake Pizza Posse.

While we were waiting for the pizza I took the chance to take a picture of all the different tables. Here's Table #1....

And Table #2...

And Table #3. When you run the blog, you get to be in all the pictures and sit at all the tables.

Finally, the pizza arrived. It was one big mamma jamma.

Then, we started eating. And yes, that is a pole between Emily and I.

Two slices in, I went with the Pizza Sandwich method for slice #3.

After meeting the Grease Beast head on and suffering some damages in the process, we finally conquered it.

Before we left, I bid adieu to Brother Bear. He taught me so much in such a short amount of time.

We gave the experience eight thumbs up. You may not be able to tell, but we are sitting on top of that bear statue. We took a LOT of pictures on that thing and, to be honest, some were pretty weird. Too weird for me to put them all up here. If you really want to see them, check Facebook.

If the pizza wasn't enough (and it probably was) we went to LeBeau's after for shakes. There is nothing quite like a raspberry shake from Bear Lake. And you better believe I got one. Because food is what I am all about.

TwiCon Preview Pt.1

2010-06-11T11:55:00.002-06:00

Summer in the great state of Utah can only mean one thing: the Twilight Concert Series will soon be upon us. The bands are announced, the venue is set, and the countdown has begun. (27 days) I've been checking out a few of the opening bands that I was not familiar with and there are definitely some gems in store. Chief among them is Chromeo, appearing Aug. 19 with Big Boi.

I'm Sunburnt...

2010-06-09T12:12:00.000-06:00

....on my heart. Haha. Just kidding. It's in the face. (In..the..fay-ce!) I spent an hour playing ultimate in the sun yesterday which was enough time to crispfy my head. It was also enough time for my buddy to give me a scratch across my left left cheek. The battle wound makes me look like Drew Brees. In other words, I'm looking real good right now. So I blogged all of four times in May. And it has taken all of six days to get something up for this month. (And... it's taken three days to get this post out into the world. Ay Chi Mama) So here are a few random thoughts and musings that are floating around my cavernous, sunburn-afflicted brain. We're going to get back on track Larry King style!...My apologies to the BP spill, but the most traumatic event in the last two weeks of my life came when I found out the freecreditreport.com band is no more. My reaction while watching the commercial went something like this: "What? Wait...what? They are bringing in a new band? Are you kidding? NoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"....You can eat your Triscuits and Pringles all day long, but Sun Dried Tomato & Basil Wheat Thins are where the party is at!.....I re-watched Clue last night and decided Timmy Curry in the last thirty minutes has got to be one of the best clutch performance we've ever seen...My early money for The Bachelorette is for Roberto. Alli turns giddy every time is in here general vicinity...Speaking of Roberto, if Gaga keeps squeezing out the hits at this pace, she is going to give Rihanna a real run for my #1 spot...The World Cup is two days away from starting. Anyone know where I can get my hands on an Ivory Coast jersey?...OK, that's all I got and, without a doubt, all you can handle. More to come from Paper Badge 2.0: The Repentant.

It's Over.

2010-05-11T12:30:00.006-06:00

Every Jazz season begins the exact same way. Hope. We think about the way our team has grown and improved from the year before. We think that this could finally be the year the Basketball Gods smile upon us and grant us that elusive NBA championship. We stick with the team through all the ups (D.Will an All-Star!) and downs(Timberwolves? Kings? Really?). We throw down massive coin for game tickets, jerseys, and Dippin' Dots (Bad economy is not bringin' their prices down. No sir.). We get amped for the playoffs. We get ticked when Jerry gets snubbed for coach of the year. Sadly, the last three seasons have ended the exact same way. By getting bounced from the playoffs by the hated L.A. Lakers.

Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of our team. We faced adversity and injuries and had a very good season. But, it really sucks losing in the playoffs. It sucks worse losing to a team that already has over a dozen titles. And it sucks even more even you have to watch said loss in person with hundreds of their fans screaming and taunting from every direction. At least we had this one shining moment in our day of darkness-

It takes awhile to get over losses like this, but I am not giving up. I will cheer on the Jazz until I'm dead. I'll talk myself into our chances next season. I will watch the draft lottery with my fingers crossed that somehow we can land the missing ingredient to our title hopes. (Who might that be, you ask? No idea.) And when I think back on the 2009-2010 season there is one thing I will always remember....

Thanks Sundy!

Go Jazz! 2011 Baby!

The Big Finish

2010-05-05T15:44:00.003-06:00

OK.....so this post is really really late and coming at a really bad time. But some stories just have to be blogged and this is one of them. Last week, my sister Shalane and I went to Game 6 of the Jazz-Nuggets series.

Here we are! The lady in the blue D.Will jersey texting behind us was sooooooo annoying. But this post is not about her.

Here we are again. Our mother hooked us up with pretty good seats. Also, my little arm looks quite creepy in this pic. This post is not about my creepy little arm though.

The crowd was electric. Going to a playoff game is an entirely different experience than any other game. You will see why in just a second when I get around to what this post is really about.

The Jazz pulled off the win and advanced to the second round. Past Cody was really excited about all of this. Current Cody is really frustrated that we are down 0-2 to the Lakers already. Future Cody will hopefully see a big comeback. But this post is not really about all the Codys.

So what this post is really about is what happened after the game. Two rows in front of us, there were three rowdy, drunk, immature Jazz fans. Eight rows behind us, there were three rowdy, drunk, immature Nuggets fans. Following the game, these two groups met each other. Words were exchanged. A Jazz fan pushed a Nuggets fan. Nuggets fan did not like that. Jazz fan pushed him again and it was on. Punches started flying. A valiant (and elderly) usher tried to break up the fight and got pummeled. A few people got into the mix to help out the usher and we soon had an all-out brawl on our hands. It was a big mess but I remember seeing a lady kick a guy in the head and another guy fell down four rows of seats. I literally thought he was going to fall out of the upper bowl. Instead of fight, flight, or freeze, I decided to record. (Unfortunately, a guy who looked the Big Show came and stood next to me during the filming and I got scared and stopped recording after a few seconds.) Enjoy....

Doubled Down

2010-05-05T15:16:00.003-06:00

You've no doubt seen the KFC Double Down commercials. They are all over TV and I think they are sponsoring everything that has to do with the NBA playoffs. Two pieces of chicken, two pieces of bacon, and two slices of cheese. Sounds crazy, but just like the 50 McNugget challenge and Big Mac wraps from McDonald's, the Big Country burrito from Carl's Jr., and anything new from Taco Bell, we had to try it.

Here I am taking the first bite of the Double Down. Most of my roommates went grilled, but I went all-out fried. Overall reaction: A little on the small side for the price. It tastes wonderful. Side effects make you feel like you drank a full glass of grease.

Spence taking a big healthy bite.

Mark avoided the Double Down and ordered the Wednesday special.

Without further ado...here is your new Double Down spokesmodel, my roommate Jake.

On a different note, the next day we said goodbye to my roommate Devin. I made everyone take a roommate picture (with Devin's gf Corey) because I am the emotional sort like that. Good Luck out in the real world Devin! We will miss you!

Nothing From Nothing

2010-05-01T22:04:00.001-06:00

I've been having Internet trouble at home the last few days so I haven't been able to load up pictures of my recent activities. Soooooo here is a fun little ditty that has been stuck in my head all day. Try not to be happy while watching this! You can't!

Trying to Make Up For Being a Crappy Blogger....

2010-04-22T10:05:00.003-06:00

During my leave of absence, the music world has not exactly been humming with great new songs. One high point was the release of Go, the solo album from Jonsi, best known for being the lead singer of the world's greatest band, Sigur Ros. The album diverts from the Sigur Ros mold with it's fair share of fast, peppy music but also contains the expansive, thought-provoking, meditative music that SR is known for. Here is one of those songs. Let it take you away. :)

The Great Update

2010-04-21T21:51:00.003-06:00

OK, first of all, sorry. I love this blog. I love feeding it, nurturing it, and caring for it like the cute little plant that it is. For some reason, April has turned into a month without blogging. I don't like this one bit. Soooooo I think you all deserve an update and some sort of excuse for why Paper Badge has turned into Paper Nothing.

Save the Semester- The #1 use of my time for the past month (those who truly know me might want to sit down for this one) has been doing homework. I'm serious. Stop laughing. After falling behind in every class due to my vacations, concerts, laziness, etc. I implemented the Save the Semester program. STS is basically just a unique way for me to say that I am studying. The 2nd best part about STS is that I have been attending class, turning in assignments, and I should pass my classes! The best part about STS is that I had a T-shirt made to promote it.

The Week of Concerts- My original plan was this: Eight days, Five concerts, Three venues, Multiple sets of friends, lots of driving, great memories, and a heck of a good time. Great plan. Didn't quite get there. When all was said and done, I attended three concerts in eight days. Muse @ the E Center on my birthday. Miike Snow at the Urban Lounge on Friday and back to the Lounge three days later for The Big Pink. All the shows were awesome and well worth the time and money.

NBA Playoffs- It's really hard to sit down and blog when there are so many good games on. Go Jazz!

Intramural Ultimate Frisbee- Six years after Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters went down in a blaze of glory in USU Men's Intramural Ultimate, I returned to intramural sports. The Disc Jockeys, as we called ourselves, finished off the Co-ed tournament with a 3-2 record. The two losses were really bad, but overall I would consider it a success.

Stake Conference Talk- For about a week, STS stood for Save The Stake as I was assigned to speak in the Saturday evening session of my stake conference. I spoke alongside my stake presidency, two recent converts to the church, Elder Condie from the Seventy and his wife. I was a little out of place and pretty intimidated. I thought I sucked but everyone told me I did well. (Lying? Maybe.) I also was able to cross off Be Made Fun Of By A General Authority off my list of Things I Never Wanted To Happen.

That's it! Do you forgive me???????

Birthday Boogie

2010-04-09T14:04:00.001-06:00

Monday was my birthday....

This is the song I did my personal birthday celebration dance to....

The Bestival of all the Festivals

2010-03-31T11:25:00.006-06:00

Every year around the beginning of spring, the Krishna temple hosts the annual Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork. Thousands of people show up each year and throw colored powder at each other.

It is always a blast. I should know. I went in 2008...

2009...

...and I came back this year.

Here are a few pics from this year's fest...

SAVE THE SEMESTER

2010-03-28T10:05:00.004-06:00

(FYI: This post is written in movie preview format.)

In a world....where homework has long been forgotten....

where classes are frequently missed....

where the need to have fun and be irresponsible has replaced all things scholastic....

...something is about to change.

A new day has dawned.

A hero will rise to the challenge....

...and he is about to restore order to the chaos and take you on an adventure far beyond your wildest expectations.

SAVE THE SEMESTER

Now Playing

Rated PG-13 For Thematic Elements, Lack of Sleep, Drug Use, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, and Some Strong Language

Me vs. The Space Needle

2010-03-23T20:30:00.003-06:00

This past week, I spent five days of the Spring Break holiday in beautiful Seattle, Washington. The picture above is me enjoying a cruise around Elliot Bay with the Seattle skyline in the background. Part of our trip itinerary was to make a trip to the top of the Space Needle, Seattle's most famous landmark. My problem with this idea is that I am very, very, very afraid of heights. But, from this distance it looks pretty weak...I thought maybe I could handle it...

...once we got closer, I realized that it was actually pretty tall...

...and from here, I was about ready to wet myself...

...but somehow I got dragged into going. As you can see, the girls were very excited. I was not. The first time we went up, I hid in the corner of the elevator with my hood over my face and my eyes closed. Once we made it to the top, I stayed in the inside lobby and kept my distance from any doors, windows, or other items that could suck me outside into instant death. But the second time we went up...

...I went outside! As you can see, I stayed as far away from the edge as I could get. Have I conquered my fear of heights once and for all?

NOPE.

Not even a little bit.

Double Delight

2010-03-12T16:26:00.003-07:00

A favorite pastime of my roommates and I is staying up late to watch a buzz-worthy band perform on one of the late night shows. Last night, our aim was to see the performance of Broken Bells, the collaboration of ex-Shins frontman James Mercer and mega-producer Danger Mouse. While flipping through channels, we stumbled upon Ryan Bingham performing "The Weary Kind", the theme song from the movie "Crazy Heart". Needless to say, both performances impressed me enough to post them here.

wrestling

2010-03-09T21:51:00.010-07:00

Without further ado, here is the mustache.....

Pretty gross, no? But kinda cool as well? I allowed this thing to creep on my face as a way of fitting in with the crowd of our planned activity for last Saturday night, a guy's night out to the Road to Wrestlemania!

Here are four of us packed into Spencer's car as we left Logan. Matt and I pretty much dominated this picture. Spencer is the glasses on the left and Mark is the green jacket and half a face on the back left. Matt is the goober and I am the mustache.

We met up with Jake @ the Red Robin and we treated to a private table inside "The Vault"

The Vault featured a giant security door, our own TV, and a bunch of cool posters, including this sexy pose from the Mailman.

But the Mailman wouldn't be the only guy we would be seeing with his shirt off. Not hardly. The excitement began with a tag team match featuring Mark Henry and the high-flying Evan Bourne.

The action had our attention from the very beginning.

One of the highlights of my night came in the form of Chris Masters (the guy not wearing purple pants in the photo above). His signature move, the MasterLock, is unbeatable. Once he gets that locked in, you can't escape. Game Over.

Here is Christian, aka Captain Charisma, celebrating his victory.

I had a lot of clever things to say about this picture, but I really think it speaks for itself.

Spencer and Matt did their best John Cena impersonation...

...while I did my part to bring Diamond Dallas Page back to life.

The fun really got going when my favorite wrestler, Kofi Kingston, came to the ring.

As you can tell, his opponent, the Big Show was quite a bit taller and larger than Kofi. But Kof put up a really good fight. I thought he was going to win after he landed his two signature moves, the Boom Drop and Trouble in Paradise. But the Show was too much for Kofi in the end. I was devastated. I really don't want to talk about it.

The biggest pop (wrestling lingo for cheer) of the night came for the midget sideshow, Hornswoggle.

He introduced the entrance of D-Generation X, at which point half the audience busted out their $10 glow sticks.

For the main event, DX teamed up with fan-favorite John Cena in a three man tag-team match against "bad guys" Randy Orton ("The Viper"), Batista ("The Animal"), and Sheamus ("The Blindingly White Irish Guy").

Orton egged on the crowd by telling them to quiet down during their cheers for Cena.

The good guys won and Mark was very pleased with the final product, and I was very pleased with my final product......

My Face Is Naked

2010-03-08T08:30:00.004-07:00

For the first time in over two years, I have removed every visible trace of hair from my face. It was really hard, but it had to be done. My roommates and I attended the WWE wrestling event on Saturday (more on that soon) and I figured that sporting a mustache would be the best way to fit in. (It was) But the mustache could not stay, (it was fun for sure, but really gross) so last night everything came off. The best way I can describe the process would be like shooting your favorite dog right in the head. (Only in this analogy, your dog can miraculously "grow" back to life) It has been a tough morning. I have contemplating a few of the pros and cons of being Baby Face McGee.

Pros:

Heighten sense of smell. (This idea is hypothetical at this point. I just feel like there are a lot more smells entering my nostrils than I am used to. Does facial hair block smells? Who knows. I am also listing this under pros for now, but it could definitely, definitely, be a con.
No food, dead skin, toothpaste, or dust particles hanging from my face.
Washing my face is exponentially easier.

Cons:

I look like a little kid.
I miss my beard/friend.
Instead of people saying I look like Justin Timberlake (really happened back in the shaved head days, people!) or the guy from Modern Family, I will be told I look like Donny Osmond.
Shaving is waaaaaaaaaay worse than trimming
Did I mention having some hair on the face really makes me look my own age?
Having a shaved face does not make you a part of an elite, super-cool, awesome club. Growing facial hair does just that.
What am I going to do the next time I go to a wrestling match? Just walk in without any type of fur going on? I don't think so.
I am going to get ID'd a lot more often.
I can never get my sideburns even.
There is nothing to protect me from mosquitoes, sunburn, blow darts, marker fights, the zit fairy, pinching, or a good smacking.

Cons win 10-3!

The re-growing of facial hair will commence.................NOW!

Living in a Daytime Paradise

2010-03-03T11:35:00.007-07:00

Working the day shift at the hotel three days a week has brought many a happy blessing into my life. For example, I have met fabulous individuals from all over the world who have come to spend a few days in Logan, Utah. (Really, I am not even kidding. ALL OVER THE WORLD! It's splendidly weird.) I also have to opportunity to enjoy a some of what the daytime TV world has to offer. I typically begin my morning watching some of this...

followed by some of this (for like five minutes-listening to Regis early in the morning always seems to wake me up)...
and this (definitely not the same but it's still great)...
followed by my new favorite....after that I will look desperately for my old favorite (I can't find this show anywhere! Why!?! It's the best!!!)... then I will switch over to a little of this (I love a little bit of Whoopi in my life)...during lunch, I will try to catch some of this...and this...maybe some of this...but never this...and I cannot miss this one..Not a bad day, right?

Hawaii Recap: Days Seven-Ten: The End

2010-03-01T09:15:00.001-07:00

(Cue the collective groans of everyone who reads this blog)

I know, I know, I know. I have been back from this trip for longer than a month and I am still blogging about it. But, I am almost done, I swear. I promise this will be the absolute final blog post about this trip. To make it happen, I have combined the final days of the trip into one comprehensive post. Let's get this over with.

In this picture, you can see my sister Bria flexing in a green top. This is at a cool little pond on the island of Kauai. They had cliffs, a rope swing, and the view was just beautiful.

On the walk back to the car, I decided to add some pictures to my Abercrombie portfolio...

...until Nika couldn't resist the chance to photobomb me...

...she has maneuvered her way into this blog a lot lately...

...finally, we got her out of the way and I was able to get my pose on again.

Our ship traveled right by the spectacular Na Poli coast. Apparently, you can only get close up to this area via helicopter. It's another one of those times where a photo just can't do the beauty justice. At all.

Here I am with my parents in front of the great view.

My cruise ship celebrity status reached an apex when I competed in the Dancing With the Stars competition...

...where my partner and I were an absolute disaster. I can't dance and I REALLY can't dance with a partner. So there's strike one. If you look at the picture you can see that I am also wearing flip-flops. Flappy Wappy Flippy Floppys. Strike two, right there. Strike three came in a big way from an incident in the first round. Take another look at the picture and notice the length of my partner's dress. Pretty short, no? During the song "Sway" from Mikey Bub, I went to the go-to spin your partner move. Her dress blew right up and we gave the audience a view they were definitely not expecting. Yow. After that, my partner was so embarrassed that she wouldn't dance. We were on the express elevator to the top floor of the Building of Suck. The crowd cheered us through the first two rounds until we were eliminated (thank the Lord) after round 3.

We met a lot of cool people on the ship. Here I am with Amanda, Bria, and DJ Hurricane Holt.

Bria, Amanda, me, and Chalis with Jasper. He was one of the crew members in charge of the activities that took a special liking to us crazy Mormons from Utah. He is also a crazy good dancer. Speaking of that, Chalis was also in the DWTS competition and she and her sparkly partner took first place!

Here we are with Chris, who served us our late-night peanut butter and jelly sandwiches almost every night on the ship.

Here I am with all my siblings after eating at Duke's in Kauai. We are a cute bunch of Titmuses.

And here is the whole group! Overall, this ranked as one of my favorite trips of all-time. I had a great time, did somethings I had never done before, made some great friends, aaaaaaaaaaand I was in Hawaii. And Hawaii is awesome.

Road Trip Pt.2

2010-02-27T19:10:00.000-07:00

This post isn't going to amount to much. I didn't really take many pictures the last two days of my "vacation". The pictures I did take are not very interesting. (Mostly because I am not in any of them.) But, here they are anyway.

Here is our hotel in Frankfurt, Kentucky. I am sure I woke up at least half the guests here at one a.m. from my yelling and screaming during the end of the Jazz-Blazers game. I feel bad, but sometimes you just have to let it all out.

Here is a quick snap of the capitol building in Charleston, West Virginia.

This road was not meant to be part of our journey. We stopped in some city to get lunch and a few confusing roads got Marcus turned in this direction, far away from any restaurants. Luckily, we got turned around and arrived safely at another Applebee's.
Some foggy river.
This is pretty much all my eyes saw for THREE DAYS!!!!!!!!
I thought the name of this gas station (Wawa) was funny. Do you? You should.
The lobby of the Richmond airport. This was at nine thirty in the morning. As you can see it is empty. There were literally fifty non-employees at this airport. There were no lines for check-in, security, gift shop, or the bathroom. If heaven is like an airport, then I have seen heaven. (Sidenote: The hell of airports is Denver, Colorado)

Once I made it back to Salt Lake, we celebrated the birthday of my baby sister, Nika. She is now 16th. I had the intentions of giving her a full post on this blog wishing her a great birthday. Sadly, I failed as a blogger and a brother. This is now four days late, but here it goes. Happy Birthday Nika!!!

Road Trip!

2010-02-21T21:46:00.005-07:00

I've been on road trips before, but never anything like this.

For those of you who don't know, I am currently in the midst of a cross-country road trip from Utah to Virginia. My buddy Marcus is moving out there to begin working at an army base near Richmond. It has been bananas to the highest degree.

This is Marcus' car with the U-Haul attached to it. I have spent approximately 34 hours in this car over the past two days.

This is Marcus with his cat, Wally. Wally has also been in the car for 34 hours...

...and he pretty much runs the show.

Our first non-Utah state was Wyoming. Cold, snowy, ugly.

This is how my face feels about Wyoming.

Nebraska brought the first bit of light into our day in the form of Runza, the delicious fast-food restaurant.

We were very pleased with out runzas.

This is our hotel in Independence, Missouri. We had a crazy time getting here. We ran into ice and snow from Lincoln, Nebraska to Kansas City. We got into our room around two in the morning. This was especially awful because we left Ogden at four thirty the morning before. Over 1,000 miles of driving. It was a very long day.

Here is a blurred picture of the Gateway Arch in St. Louis as we drove by. Somehow, at the same time we drove over the Mississippi River without seeing it. I don't know how that is possible, but it happened.

In Illinois, we ate at this hip, new restaurant called Applebee's. I enjoyed the glories of the Quesadilla Burger.

There was a guardian angel watching over us while we ate. I'm pretty sure she has been watching over us for the rest of the trip.

We also stopped into the Special K, where strange things are afoot every day.

(I would also like to point out that we drove through Indiana. It was completely dark and we never stopped. So, no pictures.)

Kentucky brought us the joys of White Castle...

...and their delicious sliders.

I ate 12 of them. I guess I didn't learn anything from the McNugget Incident after all.

Soup

2010-02-16T20:15:00.003-07:00

Dear Soup,

I owe you an apology.

I am sorry for getting so upset the day I opened my cupboards and realized you were the only food I owned besides cereal and string cheese.

I am sorry for allowing you to sit unused in said cupboard for months while I munched on corn dogs, tuna melts, and Totino's pizza.

Soup, you're better than a tuna melt.

The day I opened you up and let you into my stomach, a whole new world opened up before my eyes.

It was as if we had never before met.

You, me, and Ritz crackers. That is all I need. Your savory flavor satisfies my soul's desires. Each delicious bite brings me closer to my own personal nirvana. When I am with you, every trouble and care evaporates into your bountiful broth.

I'm sorry, soup. I think I'm kinda into you. I will never take you for granted again.

Forever Yours,

Cody

This Song Has Been Stuck In My Head All Day...

2010-02-15T23:42:00.002-07:00

...and I like it.

Hawaii Trip Recap: Day Six: Kona

2010-02-14T12:55:00.001-07:00

I promise we are getting dangerously close to finishing all this Hawaii stuff.

Day 6 takes place on the Big Island in the city of Kona...

Kona has the prettiest, bluest water of anywhere we visited. But, the beaches are all made up of this volcanic rock. Great for pictures. Not so much for sunbathing. We checked out the grounds of the Kona Hawaii temple. You gotta love any temple with palm trees surrounding it.

The highlight of the day came from our visit to the Seahorse Farm. (Sidebar: My own family didn't go to the Seahorse Farm. I went with my adoptive parents and siblings. As you can tell, my own family is a bunch of fun-sucking trip wasters. Haha. I'm just kidding. But really, how can you pass up the chance to see a flippin' seahorse farm! It's a farm of SEAHORSES!!!)
My family definitely didn't get to see this awesome blob fish...
...or all these camo-seahorses.
Seriously, we saw about a kajillion seahorses.
At one point on the tour, we got to try edible seaweed. It tasted like salty grass.
Seahorse kiss!!!
At the end of the tour, we were able to hold a seahorse.
The cute little guy just wrapped itself right around my finger. Way cool!

For some reason, Old Man River in the background was not too pleased about the pasty redhead and his new seahorse friend.

This is me at the restaurant we stopped at for lunch, with our cruise ship in the background. There was no place for the ship to port so we had to take these small yellow boats to get on to the island. That really isn't important information. I just thought I would share it anyway.

Amanda and Bria at the restaurant. You gotta love being able to sip your lemon water at a place with an ocean view and sand beneath your flip-flops. Incredible.
Just another picture of a view you see every second of the day in Hawaii.
There are a million different direction I could go describing these two pictures. But, I will just keep it clean and move on.
Shay ordered an ice cream, but instead received this chocolate and vanilla elephant tranquilizer.
Here I am with Sage, Chalis, and Chyanne, part of my new, wonderful, seahorse-loving family. I'm not sure why they look so great and I ended out the day looking like a sweaty, sun burnt mess. Must be a girl thing.

Hawaii Trip Recap: Day Five- Hilo

2010-02-13T22:10:00.001-07:00

I know what you're thinking.

When will this guy shut up about his Hawaii trip?

I understand where you are coming from. But I must press on for my posterity's sake.

We started off the day by visiting the famous volcanoes. Everything was a bit different than I imagined, but once I got past that, I loved it.

See! This is me. Loving. It.

The family took a cute little group shoot in front of all the smoke.

My sister Nika (sometimes known as Ne-Ne amongst about 45 nicknames) took special offense to this sign. It would be tough for anybody to go without food. Even NeNe.

One of the best things about looking at volcanoes is when you get to practice your modeling poses. There was a lot of smoke popping out of random locations.
This tunnel was made from hot lava running through it several (thousand?) years ago. Now it is a pretty sweet cave. Also in this picture, NeNe the butt scratcher!
Inside of the cave, I got my drunk face on.One rule about family vacations: There is always time for one more group photo. Always. Even if it is in some place that you won't remember when you are blogging about it three weeks later. Even if it is just in front of some trees. There is always time.
My favorite part of the volcano experience was hiking down to the bottom of this crater. Mostly because there were only four of us who did it.
Next up, we went to a Hawaiian pizza joint where we played Connect Four and I built this awesome tower from building blocks. It's pretty cool, right? Right?
That is one proud architect right there.
Then came the pizza. As you can clearly see, Nika tried to swoop in for a bite of my delicious veggie pizza. I quickly reminded her about the "Don't Feed The NeNe" sign and how it was my job as her big brother to teach her about following signs and not eating when we are not supposed to eat. So she didn't get any pizza.
Afterwards, we visited the magestic Akaka Falls. There was an old lady in the parking lot blabbering about how the falls is named after her family and that you can find two naked ladies near the falls if you look close enough. Sure, crazy lady, whatever you say.
Here I am next to the good ol' Akaka.This is a picture of me with the improv group Second City, who performed on the cruise ship. They are (L-R) Mike, Deanna, me (duh), Piero, Jen, and Rance. I was lucky enough to be called on stage and have them perform a five minute musical about everything I did that day. (Rance played the part of Cody) It was probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Not only were these guys hilarious, but they were also really cool people. Big ups to Second City!!!

Here is a pic of Bria and Amanda doing the stanky legg on the dance floor. The three of us hit up the dance floor nearly every night we were on the ship. Usually, there weren't too many other people dancing with us. But we had a blast every night. I really miss being able to shake my money maker on a nightly basis.

Oh Boy...

2010-02-12T12:10:00.003-07:00

One week from tomorrow,I will be embarking on a road trip across the United States. I have to say I am a little worried about the challenges the weather might bring. Especially after watching this clip.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

McMardi Gras

2010-02-09T16:39:00.011-07:00

WARNING: This blog post is not for the faint of heart or queasy of stomach. This past Saturday night, Jake (my roommate) and I embarked on a challenge. This challenge was epic, It was gigantic. It was really stupid. We ate fifty McDonald's Chicken McNuggets each in one sitting.

The idea came from McDonald's recent promotion of 50 McNuggets for $9.99. While watching the commercial we decided it would be fun to try and eat all fifty. Originally, there were more of us who wanted to try the challenge. In the end, it was just me and Jake. (PS- Thanks to Sarah for sitting through this and taking all the pictures. It takes a real friend to endure watching something like this in person.)

Here are all the McNuggets next to the sauces we ordered. Mark ordered 50 for himself but has ate them sporadically over the past few days. Smart man.

I think this picture marks the beginning of the challenge. Jake seems to be eating a McNugget, while I am texting someone. Guess I got off to a slow start.

Here I am eating McNugget #1. These were simple and carefree times, right here.

Jake was focused and tore into his first two boxes like a madman.

Since we started the challenge at about 1:45 a.m. I called upon my good friend Diet Coke to keep me going through the night. With all the boxes open, you get a good sense here of the mess we got ourselves into.

Jake made his way through the third box by trying out some of the sauces.

This McNugget was probably somewhere between #11-13 for me.

Soon enough, the weight of the challenge began to set in.

And it was not pretty.

After finishing my second box, I started to get my doubts.

I started to get sad, too.

So I decided to do some lunging...

...and stretching...

...and some twists. That seemed to help me get through the thirties.

Meanwhile, Jake's final box had brought him to the couch. Lesson #1 of the McNugget Challenge: The last box will always bring you to the couch (or worse).

Eventually, Jake arrived at McNugget #50 after just an hour into the challenge. (I was somewhere just past halfway at this moment.) On his face you can see the joy, the relief, the regret, the sickness. It's all there.

Here are McNuggets #32-33. I started eating them two at a time to get through the thirties.

Here is Jake, once he finished. A picture is worth a 1,000 words. I don't think I need to say much else.

Me with a mouth full of Nuggets, probably around the end of my fourth box.

Soon enough, the challenge sent me to the couch, as well. It got really late and Sarah went home so there are few pictures of my last box. That is a good thing. That final box was about as low of a moment as I had ever had. Each Nugget tasted like a poisonous sponge doused in grease. I needed three or four bites and a sip of water to get each one down. Somehow, I had to finish.

Finally, at 4:00 in the morning, there was only one McNugget left to eat. #50. That cursed wench. Did I savor it? No, I did not.

Here I sit with my prize. A golden wad of fat and cholesterol. I finished the challenge, and I suppose I feel semi-proud. But not really proud.

The five empty boxes of the finished challenge. My advice to you: DO NOT TRY THE MCNUGGET CHALLENGE!!! EVER!!!

Hawaii Trip Recap: Day Four- Maui Again

2010-02-02T21:41:00.010-07:00

Maui Wowi!

I really just wanted to say that.

Moving on...

Day 4 began with a trip to Lahaina when we happened to see this big dead swordfish. Of course, being a tourist, you have to get your picture next to stuff like this. It's the law. Now when you looked at the picture above, you may have thought to yourself, "Cody, that does not appear to be your family. Who are you standing with?" Well, I'll tell ya. This is the Thacker family (minus Mom and Dad) and they are in definite need of a Paper Badge shout-out. My actual family had one extra person than seats in their rental van and the Thackers had one extra seat than people. So I rode with them. The entire trip. And it was awesome. They adopted me into their family and we did like a million awesome things on the trip that my actual family never did. So there. To sum things up, I had a great family vacation, I just spent it with a different family than I was planning on. Go Thackers! You guys are great!!!

In Lahaina, we sailed out into the ocean in the ReefDancer, a submarine-ish boat which is kind of like that Finding Nemo ride in Disneyland. Only it's real. It is the perfect alternative for anti-snorkelers like myself.

This is what our boat looked like on the inside. Yea tank tops!!!

This is what it looked like when we looked out the window. Yea unknown fish!

There were two scuba divers who would find creatures and bring them up close to our window...

...like this little sea urchin.

The best part of the whole ride happened when one of the divers brought this seven-legged octopus up to the window.
It was really cool. We also saw a few turtles, but I was never able to get a picture of them.
Suddenly, just when things appeared to be going so great, the heptapus attached himself to the diver's face. The diver tried his best to pull the beast of himself, but it was too late. He was doomed. We watched in horror as the heptapus slowly began to suck the diver into his cavernous belly. It was in that moment I remembered something I learned in Mrs. Bowter's fourth grade class: An octopus is your friend until the bitter end, but beware of the heptapus, an enemy to all of us.
Okay, back to reality. Here I am posing next to my trusty steed, the Yellow Submarine.

I took a few shots of the surrounding area from the boat.

Que lindo!
I could make up another story about this sunken ship, but this post is already becoming the longest blog post ever made.
Here I am @ Bubba Gump's doing my best running while sitting pose.
View from Bubba Gump's. Second only to the view from BK Lounge in Logan.
And here I am standing in front of the view. Hey there, champy.

Next, we visited the Iao Valley and Needle Point. The Point is being covered by a tiny branch in the picture. (I am a GREAT photographer!)

Here is it up-close and sans branch.

Look what else we found! Rafiki's tree! Major success!
Here I am with one real sister and two adopted sisters standing in front of the Need. Can you tell which sis is which?
Maui is really really pretty. Like wowi pretty.

Here are two of the real sisters. They are wowi pretty too. Finally, my real sisters, my adoptive sisters, a friend of a sister, my second Mom and I all posed for a picture in front of the Needle. (Who is a mountain, not a sister.)

Hawaii Trip Recap: Day Three- Maui

2010-01-28T17:55:00.009-07:00

Day 3 of my Hawaiian adventure began with our ship arriving on the beautiful island of Maui. We were able to spend two days on Maui, and boy did we make the best of it.

Here me, Ty, Nika, and Shalane wait at the port for the rest of our party to arrive.

We went to a singles ward in some Hawaiian town. The parents got all of us kids to pose together in our church clothes! (L-R) Shalane, Nika, me, Bria, Amanda, Chyanne, Sage, Chalis, Colton, and Ty in the middle.

...and a close-up too!

After church we decided to hit up the beach. For some reason, I decided that a blue polo shirt was my best choice for beach wear. Really, Cody, really?

This was my view from my beachside towel. This picture does not do the real thing justice. Not even close.

That night, we were treated to a special Polynesian dance show on our cruise ship. Similar to the show at the PCC, we saw dances from Hawaii, Fiji, Somoa, New Zealand, and Tonga. The dancers were very entertaining and loved to use volunteers from the audience...

...including this guy. He was chosen to hula dance with this cross-dressing hula beauty. After the show, he came up and talked to our group (you'll see why in a minute). He became one of our cruise ship buddies and we shared a touching man-hug on the day our cruise ended. No lie. Me and this guy right here hugged it out.

At the conclusion of the show, the dancers each brought up a lucky person to learn and perform the hula. Chalis and Colton were called up and here they are learning the dance. They gave us literally thirty seconds to learn it. I say us because I got called up too.

Chalis stole the show by "pulling a crunk" and taking the hula to a whole different level.

Now for me.

I was selected by the hottest of all the girls performing. Instead of using all my charm and skills and rocking her world, I froze.

She tried her best to show me what to do. It wasn't any use. I couldn't do a thing.

When I had my moment in the spotlight, I got low to the ground and did an impersonation of either a surfer or a bald eagle. Either way, I don't think you could call it the hula.

Hook shot!

As my partner (I never learned her name cuz I was just too darn nervous) led me back to my seat, my face said it all: I sucked.

But a really hot scantily-clad girl grabbed my hand and danced with me for two whole minutes! Sweet!

Hawaii Trip Recap: Day Two- Pearl Harbor & Bon Voyage

2010-01-26T23:00:00.006-07:00

My last post was a little short and uninformative. Since we got home, I have been pretty much depleted of all energy. (Blame it on jet-lag, lack of sleep, or the amazing amounts of fun I had) That shouldn't be a problem anymore after I slept through all my classes today and just totally relaxed to recover from the vacation. I live a hard life. So from now on, you get to see what I see, live what I lived, experience what I experienced! On to day 2!

My dad and I began the day by visiting Pearl Harbor. It was a pretty surreal experience, for sure. Here I am sitting on some sort of gun-thing. (See, I learned tons!) Some random guy came up to us and spent a good five minutes explaining how this was the best gun ever made.

Here is a submarine that you could walk through. We didn't.

Is this a bomb or like a little baby plane? My friend, I just don't know.

The long white structure on the right side is the USS Arizona Memorial, which is built directly above a battleship sunk during the attack. On the left is the USS Missouri, another battleship that was in the harbor during the attack.

Inside the memorial are the names of the over 1,000 members of the Navy and Marines who were killed in the USS Arizona. Most of the bodies were never recovered. At the bottom left, there is a smaller list of Pearl Harbor survivors who choose to be buried in the Arizona. Being in this room, I felt such a strong peace and gratitude toward all of these brave men and women.

Part of the Arizona that can be seen from the Memorial. After the ship was attacked it took less than nine minutes for it to sink.

There are similar markers like this one that show were all the U.S. ships were during the attack.

It is impossible to see it in this picture, but there is still oil leaking to the surface from the ship. Every thirty seconds or so, we could see a decent amount of oil bubble up. The crazy thing is that the ship sunk over 68 years ago! Wow.

After Pearl Harbor, we loaded ourselves and our things into our home for the next seven days, the NCL Pride of America. Isn't she a beaut?

We were met by our director, Doug. This is a terrible picture but I could not leave him out. He was a gem.

I took a few pictures of Honolulu.

My brother and I marked our departure by playing a intense game of giant chess. I was the white pieces and he was the black pieces. As you can tell, I kicked his butt. That is what big brothers are for. He consoled himself by cozying up to my queen. How cute.

Hawaii Trip Recap: Day One- Oahu

2010-01-25T22:45:00.012-07:00

250 min for $100 (.40 per min) 100 min for $55 (.55 per min)

Pay as You Go: $0.75 per minute

That right there was the price for internet on our Hawaiian cruise ship and the reason why I haven't posted on the blog for more than a week. But, never fear, I took a plethora of pictures and I am excited to share them all with you. To spread out the joy and wonderment, I will split things up by days. Starting with Day One...

Here is the (almost) entire group posing for the first of many group photos. My sister Shalane lives in Hawaii and just met us down there for all the fun and festivities. She also was able to stay in Hawaii when the rest of us came home to freezing butt-cold Utah. What a snob. (jk Shay. I'm just bitter.)

We started off our trip with a five hour flight from Salt Lake City to Honolulu. Nika and I busted out our red to mark the occasion.

Bria did what she does best. Strut the stuff.

Ty did what he does best. Look weird.

We hit up the show @ the PCC.

Great Job PCCers!

The highlight of the show was the fire dancers. They were great. Here's a clip:

Not a bad day, but the fun was only beginning.

It's The Weekend

2010-01-12T18:25:00.003-07:00

Vampire Weekend's new album Contra comes out today. Here they are in Juan's Basement, via pitchfork.tv, performing White Sky.

Green Day

2010-01-12T17:20:00.005-07:00

Today was my first day back to school. (In reality, it was the second official day) Some of my technical writing buddies and I decided it would be fun to mark the occasion of our first capstone class by wearing green.

Why green, you ask? I don't know, Mr. Questionhead. Why not?

Everybody Slap Chop Tonight

2010-01-08T12:55:00.004-07:00

It's no secret that Paper Badge is a fan of the Slap Chop. Unfortunately, I have never been able to integrate this love into my dance parties. Until now.

Stop having boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.

Regis Must Be Spinning In His Grave...

2010-01-07T10:21:00.004-07:00

Song of the Week: Freelance Whales- "Starring"

2010-01-06T13:09:00.001-07:00

Let The Quogging Begin!

2010-01-06T11:25:00.004-07:00

Before I get my quog on, I would like to introduce you to the newest member of the Paper Badge family:

That's right, folks, I am the proud owner of a brand new computer! (contooter) If you take a good look at the picture above you will notice that my new computer is seated on top of a familiar frenemy. Only a few months after I re-hauled my Mac, it died right before finals week. Thanks, buddy! So my mom was gracious enough to get me a Dell Studio laptop for Christmas. (Thanks, Mom!)

Right now, I am referring to him as the Mean Green Hornet, but I expect that nickname to evolve into something shorter. It's working like a dream so far. Let's keep our fingers crossed that my computer problems don't jump across the Mac-PC spectrum.

Hey 2010, How You Doin?

2010-01-02T07:46:00.005-07:00

All things considered, 2009 was a below-average year seasoned with a few sporadic events of delicious bliss. It was a lot like my trip to Arby's on Thursday. I ordered three junior Roast Beefs and a small curly fry off the dollar menu. I had high hopes for this meal, I really did. But, let me tell you one thing, my friends, the junior Roast Beef is NOT a smaller equally tasty version of the regular roast beef. I'm pretty sure they use a different slab of beef of those sandwiches. Arby sauce couldn't even help that much. But...I still had the curly fries and allthough they were sparse, they tasted amazing. After the dud that was 2008, last year was supposed to be great. I ended up with some great memories, but overall I don't know that I accomplished much. I expected more out of 2009, but the curly fries were definitely few and far between.

So here comes 2010. Brand new year. Brand new decade.

Do I have great, big plans for 2010? Kinda. But, I'm not getting my hopes up either. I won't muddle your minds with most of my resolutions but I will tell you one: Quality Blogging. Quogging.

Merry Christmas Everybody 2!

2009-12-25T10:45:00.001-07:00

Merry Christmas Everybody!

2009-12-25T10:35:00.001-07:00