Ernest Scared Stupid

I am not a man of many holiday traditions but there are two such traditions that I hold on to above all else. They are watching Christmas Vacation in December and Ernest Scared Stupid in October. Everything else is just details. (jk family mems I like all your parties, too.) Last night, my roommates and I watched Ernest to officially get us in the Halloween mood. The movie is (for lack of a better word) stupid, but I love it. Here is a clip where Ernest faces off with Trantor the evil troll who turns the children of Briarville into wooden dolls:



(great line for fans of the show:)
Nuh uh, ain't no trees in Botswana, nuh uh, I know, I AM a Botswanian lumberjack, and I ain't never had a job...

By Popular Demand...

For those not of the Facebook world, here are the infamous Halloween costume pics for our ward party last night. I was going to wait until Halloween to post these, but I figure it won't hurt to double dip in the cross-dressing goodness.

Shining like a magical beam of sunlight

Showing off a little leg.

With my roommates Jake (L) and Mark (R)

Again!

Pulling. It. Off.

An Open Letter to All the Ladies in the World

Dear Women,

I have known you for quite some time and we have always had a good relationship. We've had some good times, shared a few laughs, you've done your thing and I have done mine. For the past twenty four years, I thought that I understood you. In the past two days I have learned that i had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what kind of pain you put your self through. Let me explain.

Case #1: Sunday, I allowed my sister to wax part of my leg, just to see how it felt and say that I did it. Wow. That hurt really bad. Like, really bad. That section of leg is still burning and covered in tiny red dots. I can only imagine (and I would not like to imagine) how bad it would have hurt to have done that to my entire leg. But, this may not be an all-encompassing fact. Which brings me to...

Case #2: Yesterday, as part of my Halloween costume, I wore a dress. I have worn make-up and tights, but this marred my first foray into the dress-wearing world. As I ventured out into society, approximately 1.2 million questions came into my head. How do I get into a car? How do I get out of a car? How do I sit? How do I get back up again? How do I stand? How do I walk up stairs? How do I get a good twirl going? How on earth would it ever be possible to pick up an object that has fallen to the ground? Somehow you know all the answers to these questions and I applaud you for that. But, I am not done yet. There is still one more thing that causes me to stand in awe more than the rest.

Case #3: The shoes. I found a sweet pair of platform-ish shoes for my costume. They fit perfectly and I could not believe my great luck. Unfortunately, my joy was quickly wiped away. Within an hour of walking around in those shoes, my dogs were barking and my piggies were squealing more than I could handle. When I finally came home and took my shoes off, the euphoria ranked among the greatest single-second moments of my life. And you do this all day, every day? Bravo. Hats off. Well done.

In conclusion, I don't want to be you but I appreciate you a lot more. I'm not sure if putting yourself through all this to attract the opposite sex, or if it is just fueled by social norms. So the next time I see you walking around pulling off a fabulous dress/shoes combo, there will be a hint of appreciation mixed with whatever other feelings I might get. I can say that I have walked in those shoes. Literally. And it sucked.

Sincerely and Gratefully,

Cody Titmus
Man

Hocus Frocus

Being a wild and untamed force of man, I have used the past couple months to allow my hair and beard to grow free as nature intended them to. When my hair grows out, I can puff it up into a cute mini-fro that has given me several ideas for a Halloween costume. Without further introduction, here are my top 4 choices with the cons each one brings to the table: (I think the pros are self-explanatory, no?)

Option A: Gene Shalit

Cons: My moustache is not nearly long enough.

His hair is not really a 'fro, but it's close.

Black hair dye.

Option B: Ronald Mc Donald

Cons: The makeup alone would make this costume a nightmare.

Big red shoes.

I'm looking for a costume that will make people laugh, not wet themselves.

Option C: Bob Ross

Cons: How many people know who Bob Ross is?

Option D: Annie

Cons: Wearing a dress.

People asking me to sing.

Miss Hannigan making me scrub her bathroom floors with a toothbrush.

Please cast your vote or let me know if there is another fro-tastic costume you have in mind!