Ra Ra-ing My Riot

Here is a clip of Ra Ra Riot performing "Ghost Under Rocks" live in an attic. My best way of describing them is a better version of Vampire Weekend with hot girls playing string instruments.

Finally, Something on the Internet I Can Use. ;)

In a world where bladders are being filled at an alarming and frequent pace, there is hope. In a time, when nature calls, and calls, and calls again, and never lets up until it is answered, there is a light. In a society, where good honorable citizens are mocked and scorned for having to use the bathroom at inconvenient times, there is a solution. And that solution, my friends, is RunPee.

RunPee.com is a new website that is dedicated to, in their own words, "helping your bladder enjoy the movies as much as you do." We have all been in the this situation. Some of us, including Mr. Paper Badge himself, are in this situation more than others. You are having a great time, enjoying a flick, when suddenly the pee fairy comes knocking at your door. You worry about missing anything good, so you end up fidgeting in your seat for a half hour until you finally succumb. Luckily, RunPee has come to the rescue. RunPee contains an list of many currents movies and the best times to "RunPee" during those films. It also features the complete running time of each movies, as well as, letting us know if there is anything worth waiting for after the credits. Not good at memorizing, writing, or printing? Guess what, there's an app for that. Along with the iPhone, RunPee is planning to expand to other platforms and languages and eventually achieve global domination. OK, so I understand this website is a little ridiculous and I don't know if I will ever use it. But, I will sleep better knowing that it is out there.

An Odd Occurence

Today has been a great day at work so far. Working at a hotel desk, I am able to enjoy the conveniences of Internet (helping me survive not having a computer for the last billion years), doing homework (psh-yeah right!), and TV during the slow periods of my shift. Today I have been reveling in the glory of college football. I have missed it so much and I could care less if I am watching Tulsa vs. Tulane or Syracuse vs. Minnesota, it is all beautiful to me. To complement this glorious occasion, I decided to eat the apple I had brought as a mid-morning snack. As I sunk my teeth into it's crisp, green flesh, I smelled a smell. I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was or where it was coming from. I smelled my pits. No dice. I smelled our freezer and microwave. No dice. Then I smelled my apple. Dice. It didn't smell rotten or dirty so I just kept eating away. A few more chomps, until I realized what the smell was. My apple smelled like a baby. That's right, a baby. Any you know what else? The apple began to taste like a baby too. And I liked it. Ok, ok, ok, ok, I am joking around about that part. It tasted like an apple. The whole experience reminded me of Wayside School when the teacher starts turning kids into apples. Did I eat one of their kids? Anyone know of any logical reasoning behind all this madness? Because I have a whole bag of those baby apples sitting on my kitchen counter.

The Latest Chapter in the Never-Ending Saga of the World's Most Rediculous Computer and a Light at the End of the Tunnel

My computer's most recent failure had left me with two choices. I could either spend $300 to send the thing to MacLand for repairs (CD-ROM, hard drive, the works)or spend slightly more (in terms of hundreds) and invest in a brand-new (not Mac) computer. It was a tough choice. I can hardly stand the sight of my laptop and I have dreams of going all Office Space on that thing. My mental list of pros and cons produced only cons. I eventually decided to take my laptop in to the Apple Store so it could be fixed.

If you have ever been to Gateway Mall to see a Genius at the Apple Store, you might know there is a very strange protocol to making sure you are helped in a timely fashion. After making an appointment in advance, you are supposed to check-in with a "concierge" and then stand in a "waiting area" until your name is called. The problem with this system is that the "concierge" is by no means a distinguishable individual and every Apple employee is always talking to at least twelve customers. The second problem is that the "waiting area" is by no means different from any other part of the store. Hello, Apple, you are a gigantic company, have you ever heard of signs? Not the movie, just a plain old sign that says "WAITING AREA". Not hard. So, if you can't tell I was in the wrong "waiting area" and didn't speak to the "concierge". This led to my appointment being cancelled. Hey, thanks Apple, it's not like I didn't just drive from Logan or anything. Luckily, we moved past that little setback and after a half-hour wait I was able to get my computer sent off to be fixed. ETA of fixed computer: One week.

After all this fun and excitement I need some real comfort food and Gateway's food court would not do the trick. After a few minutes of pondering and deliberation I knew that only thing would do: Maple Express in Ogden. If you are not familiar with Maple Express, you should be. It was introduced to it a few years ago by my buddy Marcus, an Ogden transplant. They have the best Szechuan chicken you will ever eat in your life. I repeat, they have the best Szechuan chicken you will ever eat in your life. Maple is so delicious that Marcus even penned a little ditty about it set to the tune of "Soul with a Capital S" by Tower of Power. It goes like this:

"I got food, from the Maple Express!
Fo-oo-ood from the Maple Express!
Sweet szechuan! That's the best!
Fo-oo-ood from the Maple Express!"

When one sings this song, one cannot help but be happy. And when one eats Maple Express, one cannot help but be transported to a world to fantastic euphoria. Thanks, Maple. You made my day.

Another Gratuitous Hey Champ Clip

They have been taken under the caring wing of Paper Badge and flown safely to your computer screens. This is a clip of their single "So American" performed at the Double Door in Chicago. The sound quality is so-so, but I know you can feel the awesomeness.

CMPtv OnStage: Hey Champ "So American" from CMPtv on Vimeo.